You are the awareness, the Self, the Atman, the Soul

I had an experience recently that showed me the value of "letting go."  It is a very simple example of how we interrupt the natural flow of life by attaching to the egoic mind and emotions.

My laptop battery was almost out of charge so I plugged it in.  When I tried to turn the laptop on, nothing happened.  I waited a few minutes...nothing...then I popped the battery out for 20 seconds and still nothing.

After several minutes of this I started to feel frustrated and anxious because I had a lot of work to do on my computer before I needed to leave for my office.  Also, it was April 17th and I needed to sign my income tax returns online and then submit them.   At one point I had the thought to unplug the computer before I popped the battery out but I reasoned to myself that this was unnecessary.  Instead, I continued to feed myself with negative thoughts like "I don't have time to get my computer fixed," "I hate technology"and "What if I can't get to my income tax documents?" My frustration and anxiety were growing. 

Finally I decided to surrender the entire situation. I stopped feeding the negative thoughts. I gave myself permission to feel the frustration and anxiety and set the intention to let them go.  I felt the parts of my body that held the feelings and I relaxed them.  Basically I decided to  give up the struggle and set down my arms.   

A minute later, the thought to unplug the computer before taking the battery out occurred to me again and this time I listened.  That fixed the problem.

The Universe was guiding me all along but I was so distracted by the chatter in my mind and the worrisome feelings that I missed it.

The practice is to stay centered and watch the drama that the mind and heart get involved in and then  let it all go. 

"The more you are willing to just let the world be something you're aware of, the more it will let you be who you are---the awareness, the Self, the Atman, the Soul."  (The Untethered Soul, p. 37) 

you are magnificent

Some insights from Michael Singer's teachings  ("Living From a Place of Surrender" online course):

When I experience what's in here (inside myself) sometimes it is nice, sometimes it is not.  However it can always be nice in there.

There are 3 things that I experience: outside world, thoughts and feelings.  When I am "the awareness of what I am experiencing," then it will be nice in there regardless of my thoughts, feelings and outside world.

You are the most beautiful thing that has ever walked on the face of the earth.  Are you willing to let go of your attachment to the 3 things that you experience, in order to truly feel the magnificence that you are?

The Middle Way

The board of directors of an organization that I belong to recently presented a decision that I, and many other members, were opposed to.  It was upsetting and I noticed myself forming opinions and reacting emotionally.  I gave my input about the situation (as objectively as possible at the time) and the next day I shared some of my thoughts and feelings with the leader, hoping to be able to change her mind.  When this didn't happen, I became frustrated and my mind began to chatter about whether or not I could stay in this organization if the leadership did not go in the direction that I wanted.

At that point I decided to surrender and ask God for guidance.  The next morning I opened up The Untethered Soul and found myself reading what I had considered to be my least favorite chapter, The Middle Way.  I have worked with and taught from this book for years but for some reason I have always minimized and/or overlooked the importance of this chapter.  This time when I read it, the words were like music to my ears...I saw and felt the power of staying away from extremes and finding the center.  Michael uses the analogy of a blind person using a walking stick to identify the edges in order to stay in the center.  When we live in the center (aka, the Tao) instead of at the extremes we feel peaceful, clear, and situations in life flow in harmony seemingly effortlessly.

As I noticed my strong reactions to this situation I realized that I was living in the extremes.

Another analogy that Michael uses is sailing a boat.  When sailing, one needs to hold the ropes of the sail so that they are taut, but not too tightly nor too loosely.  And as the conditions change (e.g., the wind picks up) one needs to re-adjust how tightly the ropes are held.  I applied this to my thoughts/feelings about the organization to which I belonged.  Although I have immense respect for this organization and the consciousness of the leadership, I felt that I needed to relax my grip on how I expected this situation to unfold.  As I let go of these personal preferences I was able to allow everyone involved more wiggle room (to be both human and divine) and I did not take it all so seriously.  I set down my desire to fight for my opinions.  I will still express my truth as I feel guided   to do so, but the intensity is gone.

I realized that there are bigger and more important issues going on in the world (such as starvation, children being abused, drug abuse, murder...) and that this political situation is a minor blip on the monitor of my life.  I will not give up my inner happiness and peace for this...instead I will keep adjusting myself and my reactions in order to find the middle way.  Regardless of how the leadership handles this situation I will stay on the ship.  As Michael says, it is never about changing the outer and it is always about working with the inner (the mind).  Ahhh, peace.

I am so grateful to Life for showing me the way...the Middle Way.  I will work with this tool in many areas of my life...including health, relationships, work, finances etc.

Everything that shows up in our lives presents us with an opportunity to grow...if we let it.

Living from a place of Surrender.

I'm doing an online course with Michael Singer called "Living from a place of Surrender." A major point that Michael has made is that NOTHING is personal.   Life is happening on its own and we are here to enjoy it...not to take things personally.

We've all seen a plant grow through the cracks in a paved road  Life seems to have a mind of its own that wants to continually reproduce and express itself.  A forest can be completely destroyed by a fire and grow back before you know it.  Even the most brilliant human being cannot make a seed, nor cause it to become a plant, nor make the plant grow... Life does that year after year without any help from us.

So what if we FULLY trusted this process of life to take care of us...to provide us with all that we need instead of relying on our egoic minds to make things happen or to keep us comfortable? Michael suggests that we let go of the attachments to the personal self (both the resistances to uncomfortable situations and clinging to the positive situations), relax our bodies (as a way to let go), and deal with what is right in front of us. 

If you have read the Surrender Experiment, you know that this turned out very well for Michael.  He  did not sit down and decide what he needed in order to feel fulfilled or secure or happy.  Instead, he consistently let go of personal preferences and personal identity, centered himself and trusted how his Life was unfolding.  He let the experiences of his life change him and grow him but not define him. 

Say YES to each moment then let it go and greet the next moment exactly as it is...  This is the path to freedom.

Essence

A friend recently quoted Patricia Albere, saying that we are 96% Essence and 4% ego/human persona.

Lately I have been regularly focused on tapping into my own Essence.  For me this involves getting out of my head and connecting with something bigger, deeper, higher, and/or more peaceful than my egoic self. Recently, when I was feeling upset with a loved one and decided to center myself, I sensed a wiser part of myself saying "It is alright darling.  Everything is fine.  It is okay."  A loving mother telling me that all is well.  A Presence that was not phased by my being upset, that did not judge me nor react to the situation, but instead calmly stated that all is well. I instantly felt soothed and reassured.

This Presence/Essence comes from the core of who I really am.  I can tap into it at any time.  The more that I practice living from this, instead of clinging to the thoughts in my head (and related feelings), the freer I will Be. Everything truly is fine, right here, right now.  And so it is.

living with paradoxes

Metaphysics teaches us that what we manifest in life is a result of our inner most feelings/beliefs/perceptions etc.  In other words, we are to a large extent responsible for what shows up in our lives.  Michael Singer, on the other hand, says that there are very few things in life that we can control.  How can both of these teachings be true?  Both statements are true because they are a paradox (i.e., two things that seem contradictory).

Richard Rohr talks about the value of paradox in his book "The Naked Now".

"Even the great dogmas of the church are almost always paradoxical.  Think of Jesus = Human and Divine, Mary = Virgin and Mother, God = 1 and 3."(p. 144)

"Each one of us must learn to live with paradox, or we cannot live peacefully or happily even a single day of our lives.  In fact, we must even learn to love paradox, or we will never be wise, forgiving, or possessing the patience of good relationships."  (p. 145)  

I find great freedom in accepting that paradoxes exist.  It is so much easier to love myself and others when I can accept that although we each are divine expressions of life we are not perfect.  When there is some wiggle room for human error to show up, I can love much more easily.  And ironically, by accepting these limitations, the true essence of the person or situation becomes apparent.  Resistances, resentments and struggles diminish.  Forgiveness flows.  The human reality becomes much less important and God's light shines through.

"The 10-Second Miracle"

Lately I have been doing the following practice from the e-book "The 10-Second Miracle" by Gay Hendricks:  Noticing what my body (from my head to my belly) is feeling and recognizing which emotion is present (Different areas of the body are associated with different feelings, namely anger, longing/sadness and fear/anxiety).  Then, if there is any tightness or discomfort in my body, I breath slowly and deeply for 10 seconds while focusing on this area.

Oftentimes the breathing causes the tightness to disappear and it is often replaced by a flow of positive energy.  Sometimes the emotion lessens, other times the emotion informs me of some action that I need to take to restore my self/body to a state of ease and openness. (The second part of the book discusses how to communicate these physical and emotional feelings in order to show up authentically and promote conscious loving relationships.  Please see "The 10 Second Miracle" for more information.)

Although these practices sound simple and perhaps it appears that they focus on the egoic self rather than the Higher Self I have found the opposite to be true.  Here is a list of the benefits that I have received from doing these simple exercises:

1. My awareness is brought into the present moment so that I can deal with what is right in front of me instead of being caught up in my head which is usually focused on the past or the future.  We will only find God in THIS moment.

2. I automatically drop my awareness out of my head and focus on what my body is telling me.  The body does not lie nor complicate things.  It simply provides information about how I am feeling about something in my life.  I then have an opportunity to accept my feelings.  Acceptance creates space. Space is where conscious awareness abides.  Out of this space everything arises.  As human beings we have become overly focused on the 'things of the world that arise' rather than on the 'spacious awareness itself' which is the truth of our Being.

3.  Letting the body inform me about what I am feeling makes things very clear.  I am not in my head trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong, or who is to blame, or what should be or what shouldn't be...  Instead I simply accept the feeling and relax the part of my body that is holding the feeling.  This process eliminates judgment and trying to control.  (As mentioned above, part 2 of the book talks about how to communicate these feelings in a way that breaks through barriers to communication.)

4.  Acknowledging my feelings has contributed to a sense of wholeness.  All parts of me are welcome and this feels very good.

5.  I feel an inner strength and contentment.  Years ago I read something that was written by a famous psychologist about self-esteem.  She stated that healthy self-esteem comes from the "authenticity of one's feelings."  This certainly seems true for me...accepting all of my feelings helps me to feel very good about myself.  Here is an example, when a child's goldfish dies the child naturally feels sad.  You wouldn't want to say to the child "Stop crying over that stupid fish.  Get over it right now!" A child who received that kind of message would begin to think, "What is wrong with me that I feel sad about my fish dying?"  Instead, validating the natural feeling of sadness allows the child to accept him/herself.  It also creates space within the child's experience for the sadness to be experienced and then to move through the child.  Similarly for us adults, accepting our feelings leads to self-acceptance and a movement of feelings through us.

6.  When the blocked energy in my body is released I feel a wave of positive energy...it feels like a divine flow of energy similar to what I experience during meditation or mindfulness practices.  This makes perfect sense to me.  As most of us have heard it said, we already are awake, whole, spiritual Beings.  It is our fears and our beliefs that we are limited, separate, less than etc which keeps us from experiencing our divinity. So, by recognizing and releasing these blockages (on both a physical and emotional level), we come into direct contact with our divine essence.

7.  By noticing what my body is feeling and giving it a chance to relax I am nurturing and caring for my body instead of ignoring it.

Ahhhh, so much to gain from simply focusing with-in and breathing for 10 seconds!