Happiness is a Choice

I have been enjoying the path of unconditional happiness.  For the most part I have been able to bring myself back to joy or love regardless of what has been showing up in my life.  However, there was one particular instance when an issue related to judgment of myself and others came up and I had difficulty moving through it.

This is how the path of unconditional happiness works…samskaras or unfinished business will interfere with our experience of joy, presenting us with an opportunity to work through these issues.

 

During a meditation on Saturday I decided to contemplate the judgmental thoughts and feelings.  I stayed present with what I was experiencing, chose to see myself through the eyes of compassion, contemplated the origins of being judgmental (e.g., recognized that it developed out of past wounds such as feeling like I needed to be self-critical in order to make sure that I measured up…).  I felt pain, sadness, loss and then I was able to allow the thoughts and feelings to pass through me and I experienced a lighter heart. 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live with an open heart all of the time?  This is possible.  It is a matter of shifting away from having to have things be a certain way in order to be happy.  Can we accept things as they are?  Do we really need more money, better relationships, more time, approval from others…in order to be happy?  The next time you find yourself feeling down about not having something or about having something that you do not want, ask yourself what belief you are holding onto that is blocking you from being happy and then challenge that belief.

We are made in the image and likeness of God.  Joy and Love are our True nature.  It is the ego or the false self that holds onto beliefs, expectations, pre-conceived notions etc. which interfere with our natural state of Joy.

Set the intention to live with an open heart and work with yourself to remain open for as long as possible. 

unconditional happiness

I am going to veer away from The Way of Liberation for this post and focus on a message from Michael Singer's CD "The Journey Within.  Love is Inside.  Go Find It."

The gist of the CD is that happiness, love, joy etc. do not come from anything outside of ourselves.   They are inner states that are often triggered by something outside of us but the feeling itself comes from within.  Some things cause us to open and we feel love or joy.  Other things cause us to close and we feel depressed, blocked, heavy...  What determines whether we open or close to something is our past conditioning.  One thing (e.g., a piece of art) might cause one person to open and another to close.   As a result, most of us go around trying to fill our lives with things that make us feel open.  However we do not always get what we want and even if we do at some point that particular thing that opens us will either go away or stop making us feel open (e.g., the new car is no longer so wonderful, the new job becomes boring).

This spiritual path is about working on the inside to stay open instead of trying to change the world to meet our expectations.  You do this by noticing when something closes you and figuring out a way to stay open.  With this kind of practice you could be feeling love all of the time.  Any job that you are doing should fill you with joy.

We limit ourselves from happiness by our expectations, beliefs, preconceived notions, negativity.  For example, the other night I had to go to the store to buy something that one of my kids needed for school the next day.  I found myself thinking things like "I'm really tired.  This is the last thing that I want to be doing right now...(blah blah blah)"  However, it only takes a moment to notice this kind of attitude and choose to feel joy instead.

I am not talking about what we "should" do, or what is the right or wrong way to handle situations, or which attitude is more spiritual.  It is more practical than that.  If I want to be happy, than I can choose to be happy during the moments of my life regardless of what is happening.  This makes much more sense than trying to keep everything outside of me in order so that I can feel good on the inside.

Michael suggests that instead of praying for a relationship, a new job, a new car... pray to feel love, to feel secure, to feel happy.

from false self to presence

Adya says that the "false self is the greatest barrier to the realization of our true identity of universal being... The problem is that the self that you became convinced was the real you is a phantom that exists only as an abstraction in your mind...The false self is both an obstacle and a doorway through which you must pass on your way to awakening to the dimension of being.  As you pass through the void of self, the identification with self dies, either temporarily or permanently, and you are revealed to be a presence."  (The Way of Liberation, p. 12-13).  

The false self or this identity which I have created in order to navigate through life is a phantom.  It does not exist anywhere but in my mind.  Adya gives a very convincing description of how we are not this self on pages 12 and 13.  It is very liberating at times to realize that I am not this identity that I have created and that I do not have to maintain any particular image, nor try to fit in, nor do anything to be accepted...  At other times I cannot imagine going through my life without this sense of who I think I am.  It can be frightening to imagine how I would operate in life without this set of beliefs, expectations, perceptions...    

Each and every time that I notice my attachment to a thought, feeling, perception, assumption and choose to let it go, I am that much closer to embodying presence and living in Reality.  I have been listening to a music CD by Kirtan (A Deeper Surrender) where she says things like "we think something happened but nothing ever did." and "everything is only me."  Could this whole experience be an abstraction in our minds?  Wouldn't it serve us to get on with letting go of the phantom, and awakening into the dimension of being that is our doorway to God realization?

Now is the time.  Join me in noticing whatever is hooking you at this moment.  Recognize that it may not be as real as it seems.  Breath and relax your chest and belly.  Let it go.  The false self is a mask that we wear.  Beneath this mask is a Divine expression of life in the form of you.  Nothing that is happening in your life right now defines you.  You can choose to open your heart and follow the path of Unconditional Happiness (part 5 of The Untethered Soul) regardless of what is happening on the outside or you can choose to be obsessively focused on this false image.  I suggest letting go in each moment until you connect with the presence within...only then will you be able to walk in freedom.   

the central issue of life

"Most of us live in a state where our being has long ago been exiled to the shadow realm of our silent anguish.  At times being will break through the fabric of our unconsciousness to remind us that we are not living the life we could be living, the life that truly matters.  At other times being will recede into the background silently waiting for our devoted attention.  But make no mistake: being--your being--is the central issue of life." (The Way of Liberation, p. 10)

The egoic part of me that wants to see itself as separate and in-charge wants to stay away from being.

But, I am not this little self.  I can choose where I put my awareness and how I spend my precious moments on this planet.  I choose to let go of all of the energy that I have wasted on fear, worry, judgments, and illusions about reality.  I choose to let go of the reigns and relax into the present moment.  I surrender into the beingness that I am because I know that I am One with that which created and sustains life.

I choose to live a life that truly matters.