beyond suffering

I am working with a client who has been trying to be the Observer of her experience for a while.  She recognized that fear of feeling her emotions was keeping her from feeling them fully and that this was keeping her from being able to move her awareness to the Observer.  She could not let go of the feelings until she was fully immersed in them and fear was keeping her from doing this.  When she allowed herself to fully embrace the fear as well as the other feelings, she was able to move her awareness to the Observer and let them go.  This is the path of non-resistance as described by Michael Singer in chapter 16 of TUS.

Similarly, Adyashanti says:

"So one of the most vital steps to addressing our suffering and moving beyond it is first to summon the courage and willingness to truly experience what we're feeling and to no longer try to edit what we feel."  (Falling into Grace, p. 101).

He says to notice when we are experiencing a painful emotion, then notice the thoughts behind the suffering (e.g., my father would get angry and yell...) and the conclusions that we have about our story (e.g., that never should have happened, I didn't get what I needed as a child...).  The healing comes from recognizing the story and related emotions without holding onto the conclusions that you have drawn.  The experience happened and it felt the way that it felt, however, can you be certain that your conclusions are accurate?  Letting go of this will help to free you from the story and the suffering.  (See Falling into Grace "How We Maintain Our Suffering" p. 103).

We are meant to authentically experience each moment without clinging to them.  Experiences in life affect our psyche and our human personality, but they cannot touch our inner Essence.  However, if we do not let these painful experiences move through us they will block the light of our Essence.  Whether you choose the path of non-resistance or Adya's technique of experiencing your story without drawing any conclusions, let God help you to dissolve this pain so that you may move into a greater expression of Life and Love. 

Freedom

Just a short blog this week since I am just returning from a weekend in Mammoth.  I haven't been skiing in Mammoth for many years and being up there again brought back many memories, mostly happy although some were a little painful and sad.  I read part of Michael's very powerful chapter "Pain, the Price of Freedom." 

"If life does something that causes a disturbance inside of you, instead of pulling away, let it pass through you like the wind." (TUS, p. 104).  Relax your heart and relax your shoulders. 

"If you want to be free, you must first accept that there is pain in your heart.  You have stored it there.  And you've done everything you can think of to keep it there, deep inside, so that you never have to feel it.  There is also tremendous joy, beauty, love, and peace within you.  But they are on the other side of the pain.  On the other side of the pain is ecstasy...freedom...your true greatness...You must be willing to accept pain in order to pass through to the other side.  Just accept that it is in there and that you are going to feel it.  Accept that if you relax, it will have its moment before your awareness, and then it will pass.  It always does."  (TUS, p. 105)

I have been viewing pain, fear, sadness as energy that needs to pass through me.  This helps to take the sting out of the pain.  It does pass.  The key is to relax.  Take a breath and feel your chest, shoulders, stomach relax. 

May you embody the freedom that God intended when s/he decided to manifest as You!  The freedom can be found by letting go of the blocks, namely inner pain.

not knowing

"In order to see through the mind and the deeply ingrained sense of separation that continues to generate so much confusion and suffering in our lives, we must take a chance; we must leave what we know and enter that mysterious reality of the unknown...It is by allowing ourselves to not know that we can become truly sensitive, open, and available."  (Falling into Grace, p. 88)

Here Adyashanti is talking about surrendering to "the fact that we can't know the nature of reality with our minds." (Falling into Grace, p. 88-89)  

We try to make sense of life and to make our lives go the way that we think they should go, in order to feel safe and secure.  Yet we cannot control life and our efforts to do so cause us to restrict ourselves - we cling to certain experiences and resist others.  Our energy centers (including the heart) are blocked.  We are living in the confines of that dark house sitting in the middle of a beautiful field of light as Michael Singer talked about in chapter 12.  And so we suffer. 

"In order to find the end of struggle, we have to find a state of consciousness that's totally natural, that doesn't fight against our inner or outer environment...What are you when you don't define yourself?  What becomes of the past, of the present, or of the future when you don't go into your mind to think about it?"  (Falling into Grace, p. 90)

As I ponder these questions I connect with a spirit-filled essence, a lightness of being.  Adyashanti suggests not settling for a brief experience of this, but to "Dive fully into this openness and avail yourself of the intimacy found there, in not knowing." (Falling into Grace, p. 90)

dealing with our story

I really like what Adyashanti has said about being aware of our stories yet holding them lightly.  Recognizing that we are going to tell our story yet knowing that there is a higher reality. 

After last weeks post and choosing to hold my thoughts and story lightly, I encountered some situations that required me to confront "my story".  I recognized certain areas of my life where I was operating out of fear and that this was not helpful to me nor to others.  I also recognized this fear as stemming from an old wound.  Michael Singer would say that this was a Samskara, which is "a cycle of stored past energy patterns in a state of relative equilibrium." (T.U.S., p. 54).  He says that "It is your resistance to experiencing these patterns that causes the energy to keep cycling around itself." (TUS, p. 54).  Samskaras block our hearts from being open.

Life has been showing me where I'm blocked.  It is only by becoming more intimate with what is happening in the moment that I have been able to clearly see this blockage.  Even though it has been painful, recognizing where I have been blocked has been a gift.  Now that I see these areas more clearly, I can choose to surrender the fear (witness and release it), deal with my life in a more effective manner, and make room for a Higher Reality. 

It has been quite a balancing act trying to look at and deal with these patterns while still recognizing that they only "approximate reality, at best."  My focus has been to stay present in each moment and deal with what is right in front of me, allow the fear and other limiting beliefs to move through me (by moving my awareness to the Observer) and trust God to unfold my life according to God's plan.  Thank You God and So It Is!