sandals by the shore

I had a reaction to a situation this week which gave me an opportunity to practice letting go.  It was a painful situation and the fact that I could not let the pain move through me caused me to suffer.  Adya's practice of telling your story, feeling the feelings about the story, and most importantly, letting go of the conclusions that you have drawn about the story (e.g., this should not have happened, blaming self or others...) helped me to accept the situation and the pain but without the suffering (See Falling Into Grace, chapter 5).  And as I kept reminding myself to let go of my conclusions, which in this case was blaming myself, the pain lessened.

In addition to my "conclusions" I also saw how my expectations and preconceived notions were restricting me and keeping me stuck.  I wanted things to be a certain way so that I could feel comfortable.  I could fully relate to Michael Singer's analogy of the secure and comfortable home built in the middle of the sunlit field (See The Untethered Soul, chapter 12) .  I could see how my judgments, preconceived notions, and beliefs were the walls of the house and that my Spirit, my ability to feel Love, Peace, and Joy were locked inside.

I know that if I want to be free I will need to leave the comfort of my beliefs.  

As Kirtana sings, "Leave the world of mind...like sandals by the shore."

Let go, Let God

When life hits your 'stuff' and you start to feel a disturbance of the energy inside, Michael Singer suggests letting go.

"A wise person remains centered enough to let go every time the energy shifts into a defensive mode.  The moment the energy moves and you feel your consciousness start to get drawn into it, you relax and release.  Letting go means falling behind the energy instead of going into it.  It just takes a moment of conscious effort to decide that you're not going there.  You let go.  It's simply a matter of taking the risk that you are better off letting go than going with the energy.  When you're free from the hold the energy has on you, you will be free to experience the joy and expansiveness that exists within you."  (TUS, p.65)

Let go, let God.

Being is everything

Michael Singer talks about the fact that we have very, very little control over what happens in our world.  When I stop and think about how big the world and the Universe are and how small I am in that huge arena it is very humbling.  It points to the reality that we cannot control most of what unfolds in our lives...we can not control what other people say and do, how long they are with us, the economy, whether we get to keep our job or not, our health, the weather...  We even have limited control over our own thoughts and feelings.

When I sit down to meditate I often have a hard time letting go of my thoughts and feelings about my life. I can get very attached to thinking about what I am going to do that day.  I find my mind planning activities and situations so that my life will unfold the way that I want it to.

When I allow the ego to just be, without trying to control it, I settle into stillness.  I connect with my Being-ness.

It is from our Being-ness that everything happens.  My ego-driven desire to figure out how to best do my life has very limited power over what actually happens, and in fact, it blocks me from my source of love, peace and joy.

Jesus, who was able to perform many miracles did so from his deep connection with his own Being-ness.  "It is not I, but the Father within me that doeth the work."  

I see now that I have been misguided for most of my life.  It is not for me to figure out how to run my life.  It is for me to connect with the Spirit within me and to allow that to inform me...to allow that to live through me and as me.  It is for me to notice when I am allowing myself to be wrapped-up in egoic thoughts and feelings and to find a way back to Truth, back to my Being.

I am beginning to realize that I am simply a vehicle or vessel through which God expresses and when I return to my Being-ness I am allowing that divine expression to flow.  I simply need to watch and to listen.  I am the awareness of my life unfolding.

more from The Way of Liberation

I have been using some of Adya's ideas to open my heart when I am feeling blocked or closed.  I have been working with the foundational principle of "being a good steward of your life" this week.  It is about facing all aspects of yourself and your life and not using spirituality to avoid any of these areas.  I use to think that reaching a spiritual awakening would allow all areas of my life to fall into order.  I am now learning that areas of my life that are challenging or difficult can keep me from experiencing a Higher Truth or a Higher Self.  

One way to work with issues that come up in my life is to contemplate questions such as "Is it really true that I can not be happy unless so and so (e.g., the new job, relationship...) happens?"... this type of question deals with Absolute Reality.  I also look at the human/egoic issue in the situation and question that.  For example, "What belief am I holding onto that is keeping me from experiencing more harmony in my life?"...this question is about limiting beliefs that keep me tied to egoic consciousness.  Adya makes the point that being open to Absolute Truth and dealing with the human condition are both important.

The idea is to sit with these questions and not use our heads or analytic reasoning to find answers.  (More about these techniques in future posts or read chapter 3 in The Way of Liberation).