Michael Singer talks about the fact that we have very, very little control over what happens in our world. When I stop and think about how big the world and the Universe are and how small I am in that huge arena it is very humbling. It points to the reality that we cannot control most of what unfolds in our lives...we can not control what other people say and do, how long they are with us, the economy, whether we get to keep our job or not, our health, the weather... We even have limited control over our own thoughts and feelings.
When I sit down to meditate I often have a hard time letting go of my thoughts and feelings about my life. I can get very attached to thinking about what I am going to do that day. I find my mind planning activities and situations so that my life will unfold the way that I want it to.
When I allow the ego to just be, without trying to control it, I settle into stillness. I connect with my Being-ness.
It is from our Being-ness that everything happens. My ego-driven desire to figure out how to best do my life has very limited power over what actually happens, and in fact, it blocks me from my source of love, peace and joy.
Jesus, who was able to perform many miracles did so from his deep connection with his own Being-ness. "It is not I, but the Father within me that doeth the work."
I see now that I have been misguided for most of my life. It is not for me to figure out how to run my life. It is for me to connect with the Spirit within me and to allow that to inform me...to allow that to live through me and as me. It is for me to notice when I am allowing myself to be wrapped-up in egoic thoughts and feelings and to find a way back to Truth, back to my Being.
I am beginning to realize that I am simply a vehicle or vessel through which God expresses and when I return to my Being-ness I am allowing that divine expression to flow. I simply need to watch and to listen. I am the awareness of my life unfolding.
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