Lately I have been working with surrender and letting go, witnessing, Truth, and Love. There is a way of being in life that allows one to express Love...Absolute Love, unbounded Love...regardless of conditions. The practice is to feel through whatever one is experiencing in a surrendered and open way. It is to allow oneself to be witness to thoughts, feelings and experiences as they arise without attaching to them. And simultaneously seeking or allowing oneself to connect with the Source of Love, to emanate from this place of Love even in the midst of pain, anger, fear, conflict, disappointment... Sometimes I rest as the neutral witness and observe my inner and outer world. Other times I feel through an experience, whether it be one of love or some negative state, and open to a deeper awareness of Self as Love.
I have been reading a delicious and profound book called "Finding God through Sex" by David Deida which describes this process. David talks about using relationships as spiritual practice...engaging in intimate relationships in a way that allows you to move through blockages (emotional, sexual and spiritual) and surrender into Love...unbounded, Divine Love experienced as the Truth of your Being.
"With practice, we relax as an openness that is not dependent on conditions. As beginners, it is easier to relax as openness under certain conditions- such as during meditation, in beautiful natural surroundings, feeling the unconditional love of our children, or during fantastic sex with an adoring lover-but these are only portals into a depth that is always here, that is our true nature regardless of conditions. We might realize this depth and enjoy its bliss in moments of grace or when conditions are just right, but then we can practice realizing this depth over and over, when things are good or bad. The story of Jesus says that his heart was wide open in love even while being crucified. Tibetan monks in prison and Jews in concentration camps have reported deep compassion and spiritual openness while enduring the most excruciating tortures. One measure of your depth of spiritual practice is this: Throughout what range of conditions do you remain aware of and relaxed as the openness of your deepest being?" (Finding God Through Sex, p. 119-120)
Relax into each moment knowing that the experience of the egoic self is not Absolute Truth. Lean into the experience anyway. Relax and open to your deepest being. Allow yourself to open so far that you fall into the Abyss of Divine Love that is waiting for you. With practice you will lose your (limited) self, but you will find your deepest Self in all of its divinity and glory.
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