staying oriented toward the spark of divinity within

In Resurrecting Jesus, Adya talks about Peter:

"Peter's denial is a representation of how we can turn away from our deeper nature of divine being.  We may turn out of pain, or sorrow, or betrayal, or some sort of abuse-anything in our experience that causes us to see ourselves as less than we truly are."  (Resurrecting Jesus, p.159)

First, I want to ask myself "When do I forget my deeper nature as divine being????"  This is most likely to happen when I go unconscious...when I react (even if the reaction is just in my head) from automatic pilot rather than from a place of being aware of what I am thinking and feeling.  When I keep this truth in the forefront of my mind, that my true self is a divine being, I am different. I notice my thoughts...and as we can see from the quote in last weeks post, what we think has huge implications for life.  I notice what my heart is doing and I can choose to open it if it is closed.

Intellectually I know that I am a 'divine being having a human experience' but if I do not respond to life from this truth in a moment-by-moment basis than it does not do me or anyone else any good.

"To remain oriented toward the spark of divinity within us is not always easy, and to act from that space can take great courage and faith...Peter stands for everyone who has ever turned away from the radiance, from truth, from their true being.  Peter's not a bad man or malicious.  In fact he is extraordinarily well intentioned.  But he hasn't yet found the Kingdom within himself, and so at the critical moments he's not capable of acting from the stillness of truth in a fearless way."  (Resurrecting Jesus, p.159)

This section really spoke to me.  I consider myself to be very well-intentioned.  I really want to do God's will as my life.  I really want to embody unconditional love.  And as important as it is to set these intentions, choosing to act from truth instead of recoiling in fear in the moments of my life is also crucial if I am going to be a true servant of God's will.  That means not harboring negative or judgmental thoughts about others (judgment is based on fear), being gentle with myself and others and choosing to forgive often,

It means looking at the areas of my life where I am more likely to recoil in fear and lose sight of my divine nature.  This can show up for me in situations that involve being vulnerable and closely intimate with others.  For example, when I want to protect myself (my heart) by withdrawing or hiding behind some facade (perhaps being a people-pleaser) instead of feeling the fear and showing up authentically...thus allowing the fear to move through me and the radiance of my being to shine forth.

In the big moments and the small moments I will stay oriented toward the spark of divinity within and as I do so I will move through the fear and into a way of being that is divinely inspired.