letting the energy flow

"The only thing that blocks the energy of Life flowing is human struggle. Life is way beyond the human. Because it is so present and so strong, if you would just pause and look at it, think about it, let it manifest itself, you'd begin to feel the Presence of this generating energy. Just turn to it, acknowledge its Presence, acknowledge that it fills all space and cannot be denied." Quote from Michele Longo-O'Donnell

This is the same idea as the messages that I have been talking about from Adyashanti and Michael: let go of struggle and open to the energy of life no matter what is happening in your life.

This week I had some feelings of worry about someone that I care about.  I sat with the feelings and relaxed into them.  This took me deeper into some pain (Michael would say that this was pain associated with a samskara or blocked energy from the past) which I felt and moved through.  However, some worry and a little heaviness remained.  Despite my best efforts I wasn't able to open up and let these feelings go.  After a little contemplation I realized that this path (or technique) isn't about making the feelings go away as much as it is about transcending the feelings and thoughts of the psyche.  I then did the following:  chose to accept where I was at emotionally (i.e., let go of the struggle), took a breath and relaxed the areas of my body where I was tense, and then I asked myself "Can I be happy even if these feelings are here?"  "Can I choose to open my heart to life even if everything doesn't feel just right?"  Once I chose to stop trying to make the negative feelings go away and opened myself to a higher experience I felt my mood lighten up and I started to feel more energy. 

The energy of life is always present within us. 

I am seeing more and more clearly how my struggles with life keep me from experiencing this energy.  It isn't about fixing the situations or the people in my life, including myself.  It is about choosing to let the energy of life flow inside of me. 

  

working with the heart

Since my goal is to work on myself and not the world, I have been paying very close attention to when my heart is blocked and when I am feeling love, joy, exuberance for life etc.  When I notice that something has triggered the closing of my heart (including when I feel blue or depressed) I set the resolve to work on my heart until it opens.  Ideally the process goes like this:  focus my awareness on what is going on emotionally, notice the closing or tightening of my heart (this is usually associated with judgment about myself or another, or a feeling of fear, regret, anxiety, loss, annoyance...), deciding not to let this situation close me from the flow of energy (love or joy), and relaxing my heart with lots of deep breaths.  During this process I read my heart carefully for signs of tightness, and I breath deeply to allow it to relax and open.  If I feel pain or fear I continue to relax and release the pain.  Sometimes a deeper feeling of pain is felt and I relax and release that pain.

I have noticed how easy it is to distract myself from unwanted feelings.  The pull to eat something, think about something else, get busy etc is very strong.  At times I would rather bury whatever I am experiencing and settle for the temporary sense of relief that I get from distractions.  Not much different than having a few drinks to escape from life's challenges.  But I know that this is just a temporary avoidance and if I really want to experience freedom I must deal with my present experience and let it go.
   
Michael describes this process as a way to let go of samskaras (blocked energy from the past).  I see that many of my reactions to even minor situations stem from a sense of not being enough and feelings of rejection from the past.  These present situations are gifts...they trigger areas of blocked energy (in psychology we call these unresolved past issues) that keep me from knowing my true essence. 

It seems like the only requirement to living a life of freedom and joy is to recognize that God is my source, not the world.  I choose to let go of  that which blocks me from experiencing this love and joy one moment at a time.

an inside job

I really like Michael's new CD set called "The Journey Within."  It has inspired me to spend my life learning how to embody love 24-7.  Yes, it is possible to live this way.  According to Michael we should all be "blissing out all of the time."  Ernest Holmes said  "If you do not love everyone you should begin to do so at once."  (Thank you Alene for the fb posting.)

Michael talks about how we try to arrange our lives so that we can feel the inner sense of happiness or love.  This doesn't work, at least not for long, because life is always changing and so we can never hold on to the happiness or security or love that we are trying to obtain.  He suggests that instead of changing our world to trigger these feelings inside of us, that we work within ourselves to experience these feelings.  Why not go directly for what we want (peace, love, joy within ourselves) so that we are not dependent upon outer circumstances?

Most people let the things that happen in their day determine their happiness.  When something happens that we "like" we feel good.  When something happens that we "don't like" we feel bad.  Most of what we like and don't like is based on past experiences (e.g., if someone reminds you of your uncle who you never liked, then you won't like them).  So we are basically trying to make the world fit into this set of pre-conceived notions and past experiences.  But these judgments cause us to close our hearts and thus block us from feeling happiness or love.   That is not what I want.  I would much rather be experiencing a state of love and joy. 

If you want to join me in this process, just notice how often during the day you are making judgments: this person is weird, that person is too loud, my neighbors are inconsiderate for parking their car in front of my house, I don't like traffic, the price of gas is too high...  We could go on forever with this kind of babbling. 

Instead of fixing the outside, I will notice which events pull me away from love and joy.  And I will work with me, not the world, until I am no longer pulled away from my natural state which is love.     

There are no problems...

There are no problems, only situations to be handled (paraphrased from Michael Singer).  An example, I like to run but have been experiencing some foot pain which is interfering with my ability to run.  I could view this as a problem ("Oh what if it gets worse..." "How terrible that I can't run right now") or as a situation to be handled (e.g., I need to take a break, adjust my running form etc.)  It is the meaning that I give the situation that makes it a problem, not the situation itself. 

Our minds are constantly chattering about what we need, what should happen, what will make our lives work...  But this only leads to struggle and trying to control our lives. 

"The ways that we struggle keep us locked and confined within the prison of the ego.  When we begin to see that our mind is just a storyteller, however, then we begin to listen-not for more thoughts or more complicated understandings, but for silence."  (Falling into Grace, p. 88)

"As one wise Christian mystic said, 'Stop telling God what you want, and instead listen to what God has to say to you.' "  (Falling into Grace, p. 87-88)

I have already tried making my life work by using the mind, but to no avail.  Instead, I choose to listen to God by immersing myself in the silence.  The silence can be found through meditation or by moving one's awareness to the Observer and listening.

Be the Observer and watch your mind, take a breath and relax, look for the place within that is not struggling and let the rest go.  God is always with us, guiding us, we just need to be quiet long enough to listen.
  

moving out of struggle

Adyashanti talks about the idea that when we struggle we contract.  He says:

"When you feel a contraction in your body-whether it's in your stomach, your heart, or even in your head- you experience a narrowing down, a squeezing in.  When we're contracted, we're actually pulled out of wholeness, out of a sense of completeness, and into a sense of being small or separate." (Falling into Grace, p. 74).

Adya says that the way out is to "begin to notice the place within you that's not struggling.  To do this means there's really no future for which to hope.  In fact, the idea of the future is one of the barriers of awakening to our true nature.  This is because the future keeps us looking at something other than what is happening right now." (Falling into Grace, p. 77)

The peace and joy that we are looking for is happening right now, no matter how our lives are showing up. 

I was struggling with a fearful issue recently, a fear related to the future which was very hard to let go of.  When I began to look for the place within that wasn't struggling (Michael Singer would call this witnessing) I became more deeply in touch with the feelings that I was trying to let go of...from this place I was able to let go.   

If you are having trouble letting go of something see if you are resisting the feeling in some way.  If so, begin to notice the place within that is not struggling and see what happens!

waking up from your limited idea of yourself

Whenever an unwanted situation shows up in my life, I usually start with witnessing the feelings and thoughts.  Sometimes they move right through me and sometimes they do not.  When the same problem keeps showing up in my life, I recognize that perhaps I am not fully accepting the thoughts and feelings and allowing the energy to pass through me.  

Adyashanti talks about a woman who was depressed for years until she decided to stop, stop trying to push it away.  When she did this she found a sense of well-being existing alongside the depression and eventually the depression stopped.  Adya says that the "phenomena of finding well-being amidst the difficult isn't something that most people have experienced, because they haven't really ever stopped trying to grasp at or push away a certain quality of thinking and feeling." (Falling into Grace, p. 69)

But when you fully immerse yourself in the feelings/thoughts and surrender to them you will receive an "invitation to wake up from your idea of yourself and the whole emotional environment with which you identify....The truth is that a whole new state of consciousness already exists, that every part of your experience that's unfolding right now is already enclosed within absolute stillness, absolute ease."   (Falling into Grace, p. 70).

The invitation is to move beyond the mind...remember the thoughts in our head are the thoughts of the neurotic roommate.  Instead of listening to that crazy babble, completely surrender into the experience that is happening to you in that moment.  By resisting what is, you will be holding on, not letting go.  Surrender into what is in order to find your true nature.

 

God is my source

I wrote this affirmation based on "The Path of Unconditional Happiness" (chapter 15 in TUS):

God is my source of Love, Peace, Joy, Harmony, Well Being...  God is all that I need.  What happens in my life does not determine my peace, joy etc.  When I think that my happiness depends upon what is happening in my life, I recognize that I am still in illusion.  I witness this and let it go.

The world is a museum to be enjoyed.  Just as I walk through a museum allowing the various works of art to touch me and move me, I allow the events of my life to do the same.  They touch me and change me but I do not cling to the events nor the people in my life for my happiness. 

God is my source, not this world.  I open to God.  I choose unconditional happiness because I know that I am one with God, my source.