sandals by the shore

I had a reaction to a situation this week which gave me an opportunity to practice letting go.  It was a painful situation and the fact that I could not let the pain move through me caused me to suffer.  Adya's practice of telling your story, feeling the feelings about the story, and most importantly, letting go of the conclusions that you have drawn about the story (e.g., this should not have happened, blaming self or others...) helped me to accept the situation and the pain but without the suffering (See Falling Into Grace, chapter 5).  And as I kept reminding myself to let go of my conclusions, which in this case was blaming myself, the pain lessened.

In addition to my "conclusions" I also saw how my expectations and preconceived notions were restricting me and keeping me stuck.  I wanted things to be a certain way so that I could feel comfortable.  I could fully relate to Michael Singer's analogy of the secure and comfortable home built in the middle of the sunlit field (See The Untethered Soul, chapter 12) .  I could see how my judgments, preconceived notions, and beliefs were the walls of the house and that my Spirit, my ability to feel Love, Peace, and Joy were locked inside.

I know that if I want to be free I will need to leave the comfort of my beliefs.  

As Kirtana sings, "Leave the world of mind...like sandals by the shore."

Let go, Let God

When life hits your 'stuff' and you start to feel a disturbance of the energy inside, Michael Singer suggests letting go.

"A wise person remains centered enough to let go every time the energy shifts into a defensive mode.  The moment the energy moves and you feel your consciousness start to get drawn into it, you relax and release.  Letting go means falling behind the energy instead of going into it.  It just takes a moment of conscious effort to decide that you're not going there.  You let go.  It's simply a matter of taking the risk that you are better off letting go than going with the energy.  When you're free from the hold the energy has on you, you will be free to experience the joy and expansiveness that exists within you."  (TUS, p.65)

Let go, let God.

Being is everything

Michael Singer talks about the fact that we have very, very little control over what happens in our world.  When I stop and think about how big the world and the Universe are and how small I am in that huge arena it is very humbling.  It points to the reality that we cannot control most of what unfolds in our lives...we can not control what other people say and do, how long they are with us, the economy, whether we get to keep our job or not, our health, the weather...  We even have limited control over our own thoughts and feelings.

When I sit down to meditate I often have a hard time letting go of my thoughts and feelings about my life. I can get very attached to thinking about what I am going to do that day.  I find my mind planning activities and situations so that my life will unfold the way that I want it to.

When I allow the ego to just be, without trying to control it, I settle into stillness.  I connect with my Being-ness.

It is from our Being-ness that everything happens.  My ego-driven desire to figure out how to best do my life has very limited power over what actually happens, and in fact, it blocks me from my source of love, peace and joy.

Jesus, who was able to perform many miracles did so from his deep connection with his own Being-ness.  "It is not I, but the Father within me that doeth the work."  

I see now that I have been misguided for most of my life.  It is not for me to figure out how to run my life.  It is for me to connect with the Spirit within me and to allow that to inform me...to allow that to live through me and as me.  It is for me to notice when I am allowing myself to be wrapped-up in egoic thoughts and feelings and to find a way back to Truth, back to my Being.

I am beginning to realize that I am simply a vehicle or vessel through which God expresses and when I return to my Being-ness I am allowing that divine expression to flow.  I simply need to watch and to listen.  I am the awareness of my life unfolding.

more from The Way of Liberation

I have been using some of Adya's ideas to open my heart when I am feeling blocked or closed.  I have been working with the foundational principle of "being a good steward of your life" this week.  It is about facing all aspects of yourself and your life and not using spirituality to avoid any of these areas.  I use to think that reaching a spiritual awakening would allow all areas of my life to fall into order.  I am now learning that areas of my life that are challenging or difficult can keep me from experiencing a Higher Truth or a Higher Self.  

One way to work with issues that come up in my life is to contemplate questions such as "Is it really true that I can not be happy unless so and so (e.g., the new job, relationship...) happens?"... this type of question deals with Absolute Reality.  I also look at the human/egoic issue in the situation and question that.  For example, "What belief am I holding onto that is keeping me from experiencing more harmony in my life?"...this question is about limiting beliefs that keep me tied to egoic consciousness.  Adya makes the point that being open to Absolute Truth and dealing with the human condition are both important.

The idea is to sit with these questions and not use our heads or analytic reasoning to find answers.  (More about these techniques in future posts or read chapter 3 in The Way of Liberation).

Happiness is a Choice

I have been enjoying the path of unconditional happiness.  For the most part I have been able to bring myself back to joy or love regardless of what has been showing up in my life.  However, there was one particular instance when an issue related to judgment of myself and others came up and I had difficulty moving through it.

This is how the path of unconditional happiness works…samskaras or unfinished business will interfere with our experience of joy, presenting us with an opportunity to work through these issues.

 

During a meditation on Saturday I decided to contemplate the judgmental thoughts and feelings.  I stayed present with what I was experiencing, chose to see myself through the eyes of compassion, contemplated the origins of being judgmental (e.g., recognized that it developed out of past wounds such as feeling like I needed to be self-critical in order to make sure that I measured up…).  I felt pain, sadness, loss and then I was able to allow the thoughts and feelings to pass through me and I experienced a lighter heart. 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live with an open heart all of the time?  This is possible.  It is a matter of shifting away from having to have things be a certain way in order to be happy.  Can we accept things as they are?  Do we really need more money, better relationships, more time, approval from others…in order to be happy?  The next time you find yourself feeling down about not having something or about having something that you do not want, ask yourself what belief you are holding onto that is blocking you from being happy and then challenge that belief.

We are made in the image and likeness of God.  Joy and Love are our True nature.  It is the ego or the false self that holds onto beliefs, expectations, pre-conceived notions etc. which interfere with our natural state of Joy.

Set the intention to live with an open heart and work with yourself to remain open for as long as possible. 

unconditional happiness

I am going to veer away from The Way of Liberation for this post and focus on a message from Michael Singer's CD "The Journey Within.  Love is Inside.  Go Find It."

The gist of the CD is that happiness, love, joy etc. do not come from anything outside of ourselves.   They are inner states that are often triggered by something outside of us but the feeling itself comes from within.  Some things cause us to open and we feel love or joy.  Other things cause us to close and we feel depressed, blocked, heavy...  What determines whether we open or close to something is our past conditioning.  One thing (e.g., a piece of art) might cause one person to open and another to close.   As a result, most of us go around trying to fill our lives with things that make us feel open.  However we do not always get what we want and even if we do at some point that particular thing that opens us will either go away or stop making us feel open (e.g., the new car is no longer so wonderful, the new job becomes boring).

This spiritual path is about working on the inside to stay open instead of trying to change the world to meet our expectations.  You do this by noticing when something closes you and figuring out a way to stay open.  With this kind of practice you could be feeling love all of the time.  Any job that you are doing should fill you with joy.

We limit ourselves from happiness by our expectations, beliefs, preconceived notions, negativity.  For example, the other night I had to go to the store to buy something that one of my kids needed for school the next day.  I found myself thinking things like "I'm really tired.  This is the last thing that I want to be doing right now...(blah blah blah)"  However, it only takes a moment to notice this kind of attitude and choose to feel joy instead.

I am not talking about what we "should" do, or what is the right or wrong way to handle situations, or which attitude is more spiritual.  It is more practical than that.  If I want to be happy, than I can choose to be happy during the moments of my life regardless of what is happening.  This makes much more sense than trying to keep everything outside of me in order so that I can feel good on the inside.

Michael suggests that instead of praying for a relationship, a new job, a new car... pray to feel love, to feel secure, to feel happy.

from false self to presence

Adya says that the "false self is the greatest barrier to the realization of our true identity of universal being... The problem is that the self that you became convinced was the real you is a phantom that exists only as an abstraction in your mind...The false self is both an obstacle and a doorway through which you must pass on your way to awakening to the dimension of being.  As you pass through the void of self, the identification with self dies, either temporarily or permanently, and you are revealed to be a presence."  (The Way of Liberation, p. 12-13).  

The false self or this identity which I have created in order to navigate through life is a phantom.  It does not exist anywhere but in my mind.  Adya gives a very convincing description of how we are not this self on pages 12 and 13.  It is very liberating at times to realize that I am not this identity that I have created and that I do not have to maintain any particular image, nor try to fit in, nor do anything to be accepted...  At other times I cannot imagine going through my life without this sense of who I think I am.  It can be frightening to imagine how I would operate in life without this set of beliefs, expectations, perceptions...    

Each and every time that I notice my attachment to a thought, feeling, perception, assumption and choose to let it go, I am that much closer to embodying presence and living in Reality.  I have been listening to a music CD by Kirtan (A Deeper Surrender) where she says things like "we think something happened but nothing ever did." and "everything is only me."  Could this whole experience be an abstraction in our minds?  Wouldn't it serve us to get on with letting go of the phantom, and awakening into the dimension of being that is our doorway to God realization?

Now is the time.  Join me in noticing whatever is hooking you at this moment.  Recognize that it may not be as real as it seems.  Breath and relax your chest and belly.  Let it go.  The false self is a mask that we wear.  Beneath this mask is a Divine expression of life in the form of you.  Nothing that is happening in your life right now defines you.  You can choose to open your heart and follow the path of Unconditional Happiness (part 5 of The Untethered Soul) regardless of what is happening on the outside or you can choose to be obsessively focused on this false image.  I suggest letting go in each moment until you connect with the presence within...only then will you be able to walk in freedom.