Letting go of inner sensitivity

Although it is not a pretty picture, Michael's description of the suffering caused by the impossible task that we have given our psyche's seems dead on.  We have an inner fear that we are not good enough, and so we give our minds the job of telling us what to do in order to fix the inner discomfort.  We give the mind the job of making sure that everyone likes everything that we do all of the time.  Yikes.  No wonder we are exhausted, stressed, and cranky.

"You don't have to constantly be mulling over what you said or what this person thinks of  you... Inner sensitivity is a symptom of non-well-being."  (T.U.S., p. 91).  Michael points out that the psyche is not okay and that no matter what happens, it never will be okay.  You fix one problem and then the next will pop up.  You won't fix anything because "The root problem is that you do not feel whole and complete within yourself."  (T.U.S., p. 93)

Michael suggests that we watch the psyche but that we do not listen to it.  Allow this feeling of not being enough to come up and then let it go.

Everything that the psyche says is immaterial.  Let it go.  If I choose to hold onto it then it will materialize either in my physical body, psyche, finances, life...

When I am feeling anxious about a situation or problem I use the following phrase (which I think came from Michael): "If it is not God's will then I say 'No' to it."  More and more frequently I am setting the intention to be open to God's will for my life in every moment and letting the rest go.  Does that sound like observe and release?  By letting go of all the chatter of the psyche and allowing samskaras to be released I am opening to a Higher Purpose, a Higher Experience of my life, a greater realization of my oneness with God. 

Choose today to be aware of the unbelievable task that you have given your mind.  Then ask "Who am I?" and let the rest go.

Cease to be involved!

"When you are no longer absorbed in your melodrama but, instead, sit comfortably deep inside the seat of awareness, you will start to feel this flow of energy coming up from deep within...You don't have to get rid of loneliness; you just cease to be involved with it...Awareness does not fight; awareness releases.  Awareness is simply aware while everything in the universe parades before it."  (T.U.S., p. 87).

Ahhhhh this sounds so nice!  Just to sit back and watch the play of life, allowing Spirit's energy to pour into and through you.  I think this would be very freeing...decisions would be based on love not fear...one would see with clarity instead of  allowing anxiety, resentment, jealousy, inadequacy to run one's life.  Although letting go of the personal sense of self or ego seems like a lot to give up, there is clearly a lot more to gain.

I see in my own life how easy it is to get drawn into the melodrama.  It happens in an instant.  It seems the best way to avoid this trap is to keep my awareness on the Observer Self at all times, not just after the fall but even before it happens.  Sometimes I think of the Observer as being a second set of eyes in the back of my head looking forward, seeing through my human eyes but detached from them.  My Observer Self watching my human self do its thing. That set of eyes see without judgment.  They are non-critical...accepting.

Practice today seeing through the eyes of detachment.

Inner Thorns

Michael says that situations do not pass through because you either "completely avoid situations that would cause them to release, or you push them back down in the name of protecting yourself." (T.U.S., p. 85)  This may feel better in the moment, however, it is a burden to hold onto this negative energy just as it would be a burden to wear a protective apparatus to protect you from the pain of an inner thorn. 

With the example of the person who criticized me I found myself wanting to avoid him altogether and (ironically) I found myself criticizing him for criticizing me.  In both cases I was not allowing the actual feelings to come up and pass through.  Instead it was like I was keeping them in a holding pattern, circling around my psyche but never going anywhere.

Better to feel the pain (in whatever form it takes including irritation, fear, insecurity...) and notice who is noticing - that one is already free.

In chapter 9 Michael uses the example of loneliness and the ways that we distract ourselves from this feeling instead of making choices that will make it go away.  He presents a lot of great ideas about this topic and I suggest you take a look at pages 83-87.  Michael says that  "It (loneliness or whatever feeling you are dealing with) really can go away.  You can look deep within yourself, to the core of your being, and decide that you don't want the weakest part of you running your life."  (T.U.S., p. 85)  The key is to be aware of when you are distracting yourself from the feeling and then choosing to let it work its way out of you, as a thorn would work its way out of your body if you left it alone. 

So notice when you are protecting yourself from feeling something and realize that these feelings are just a part of the human experience.  They are not you, they are an experience that you are having, some positive and some negative.  You are much more than this.  Your energy comes from God not the world.  Allow yourself to experience the moments of your life without holding on to them.

Those painful thorns, what to do?

We are now looking at chapter 9.   I like the analogy of having a painful thorn and removing the thorn instead of building a protective apparatus to keep oneself from feeling the pain.  This is a profoundly different way of dealing with personal problems than what most of us are used to doing.  Michael uses the example of loneliness.  Instead of asking how to get rid of feeling lonely, ask how do I get rid of loneliness?  And darn it, the answer is not 'by getting into a relationship!'  Sometimes people do use relationships to avoid their feelings of loneliness but this doesn't get rid of the problem.  "The problem will be back the moment the external situation fails to protect you from what's inside."  (T.U.S., p. 84.)

Michael describes the process of freeing yourself from the pain, in this case of loneliness, by witnessing the feelings.  "Because your consciousness is separate and aware of these things (i.e., the painful feelings), you can be free of them...simply permit the disturbances to come up and you can let them go."  (T.U.S., p. 85l.)   

I have had situation come up recently that has been difficult to let go of.   Someone was critical of me behind my back.  Although I witnessed and let go of my feelings about this when they would arise, I found that I was still 'tightening up' at the thought of this person.  It seems that I have been holding onto feelings like resentment in order to protect myself from getting hurt by this person.  However, I do not want to hold onto this negative energy anymore. 

I am doing two things to help let go.  First every time I think about the situation I am grounding myself in the awareness of who I really am, as opposed to identifying myself as the egoic self.  Also I have set the intention to really let it go.  I am witnessing and releasing any fears that I have about this person's criticism of me.  I am beginning to feel less tense about the situation but I will continue to witness and release until I can think about this person with an open heart.   I will keep you posted.

Relax and Release

Valentines day presents an opportunity to let go and open the heart. 

If you find yourself having strong reactions to the idea of Valentines Day it is a great opportunity to notice, let go, and return your awareness to yourself as the observer.  Whatever the thoughts and feelings they are not you.  You are the awareness behind the feelings, thoughts, perceptions. 

Let go and open your heart. 

"Allow yourself to experience every note the heart can play.  If you relax and release, this purification of your heart is a wonderful thing.  Set you eyes on the highest state you can imagine and don't take them off." (T.U.S., p. 57-58).

May you release all that blocks you from experiencing the love that you are!

The Secret of the Ascent

Michael suggests letting go as soon as possible.  Otherwise our consciousness will get sucked into the drama and it will be more difficult to let go.  And we may say or do things once we are sucked into the drama that will further deepen the pit that we are trapped in. 

Michael says that laws of attraction will cause our consciousness to be attracted to that which distracts it the most, including a blockage from the past.  Letting go allows that blocked energy to be released. 

"When it is released and allowed to flow up it becomes purified and merges back into your center of consciousness.  This energy then strengthens you instead of weakening you.You begin to go up and up...The secret of the ascent is to never look down-always look up." (T.U.S. p. 78). 

By staying seated in the Self you can allow yourself (the roommate) to experience the darkness but you do not have to get involved with it.  Observe and release.  "The bigger it is the higher the reward of letting go and the worse the fall if you don't." (T.U.S. p. 79).

Practice today keeping your attention focused on the highest state of consciousness that you can imagine.  Then notice when life hits your stuff and open your heart and let it go. 

Releasing Pain

As I practice these techniques I find that witnessing and releasing is becoming a little more natural.  Sometimes I sit with feelings for a while (chewing them over, trying to think my way through them...) before noticing that I am lost in the drama of my psyche.  When I become aware of this I often welcome the fact that life has hit my stuff because although it is painful I know that I am dumping that which is blocked within me.  I have experienced and released some pain that I have been carrying for a long time and it feels good to be free of it. 

"Life creates situations that push you to your edges, all with the effect of removing what is blocked inside of you.  That which is blocked and buried within you forms the root of fear.  Fear is caused by blockages in the flow of your energy...Fear is the cause of every problem...The purpose of spiritual evolution is to remove the blockages that cause your fear." (T.U.S., p. 73)

The way out is "be willing to open your heart in the face of anything and everything, and permit the purification process to take place." (T.U.S., p. 74) 

Let go and allow the pain to come up into your heart and pass through you.  You only have to feel it for a moment before it passes.  Although we spend a lot of effort trying to avoid it, feeling the pain is tolerable, unpleasant but tolerable.  And the reward is to live in freedom with an open heart! 

Accepting life as it shows up.

In chapter 8 Michael talks about a choice that we have to either let life push us in the direction of personal growth or let it cause us to experience personal fears. "Which of these dominates is completely dependent on how we view change."  (T.U.S., p. 72)  If we do not like change we will experience fear.  Yet change is the nature of life.

We can try to keep our lives predictable and controlled in order to avoid the fear associated with change or we can recognize the fear and work on releasing it.

As Michael points out, if we want to avoid fear then we will have to define how we need our lives to be in order to feel safe.  This ends up limiting us a great deal.  What happens when someone does not respond the way we would like them to?  Or it rains and ruins plans? Or a job loss?...

If we choose to accept that we have fear and decide to release it then we need to accept life as it shows up, notice our reaction and release the fear.  Not an easy task and I commend each of us who choose to forge ahead through the fear in order to experience freedom!

Michael asks "Who said that the way life naturally unfolds is not all right?  The answer is, fear says so.  That part of you  inside that's not okay with itself can't face the natural unfolding of life because it is not under you control. "  (T.U.S., p. 72 )

I love this idea of accepting life as it shows up.  I find it to be very freeing to allow that which created my life to run my life.  And yet the fear-based human side of me resists the idea of letting go.

In the last 24 hours I have noticed that I do the following in order to avoid accepting life as it is showing up: worry about the future, regret something I said or did or didn't do, judge myself or another, complain (either out loud or in my head), and attempt to fix situations.  These may show up briefly and in minor situations, yet they keep me from accepting the moment and allowing it to pass through me. 

I really do not want to send these lower-vibration energies into my body, my energy field, my relationships, my life, or the world.

I choose to accept my life as it is showing up. 

So here are some affirmations and intentions that I am setting for myself. 

I accept that life is okay exactly as it is.  I trust the process of life, God, a higher power to handle my life.  (That which creates a baby, causes a flower to grow, changes the seasons and keeps the planets rotating perfectly around the sun can certainly do a better job of running my life than I-the roommate that is- can!)  I let go of the constant babble of the inner roommate.  I choose to move into a closer alignment with my God-self (by facing and letting go of fears) knowing that my life is unfolding in perfect order and harmony.  I choose to enjoy my life no matter what is happening.  I know that God is the source of love, peace and joy and I will not allow my limiting thoughts and beliefs to keep me from experiencing that which is my birthright.  I face the fears, shift my awareness to being the one who is aware (Who am I?), and open my heart with a relaxing breath.

And so it is.

Who Am I? Part 2

In the midst of a worrisome thought ask "Who am I? Who am I?..."

In the middle of a conversation where you find yourself judging someone or something ask "Who am  I?"

When struggling with how to handle a situation ask yourself "Who am I?" and once you feel a connection with a larger sense of yourself, see if you experience more clarity about the situation.

When driving in your car and not thinking about anything in particular ask "Who am I?"

Michael says "Ask (Who am I?) ceaselessly, constantly.  Ask it and you will notice that you are the answer.  There is no intellectual answer-you are the answer.  Be the answer, and everything will change." (T.U.S., p. 38).

Who am I?

I am finding it very helpful to ask myself often throughout the day "Who am I? Who am I?  Who am I?..."  This helps move my awareness to myself as the observer.  Then, when I notice a shift in my energy, or, a thought or feeling has captured my attention, I let it go and move my awareness back to the observer.  It is a similar process as meditation.  During one form of meditation the meditator strives to focus on their breath until they recognize that their mind has wandered, at which point they bring their attention back to the breath.  You can do the same in a non-meditative state by being 'aware that you are the awareness' and then notice when life hits your stuff and move back to center.

Another trick that Michael suggests to bring your awareness to 'yourself as the one who is aware' is to say 'hello' over and over again.  I experience this as the roommate saying hello to the observer.

These techniques can be helpful as we move into part III of the book ("freeing yourself.") where we will be focusing on accepting life as it shows up, and allowing ourselves to experience and release fears.  When I am experiencing fear or discomfort I find it helpful to ground myself  in who I really am.  I find that the fear passes more easily.

Try asking often throughout the day "Who am I?'