the existential mystery of being

In an essay titled "The Question of Being" Adyashanti says "To remain unconscious of being is to be trapped within an ego-driven wasteland of conflict, strife and fear... Nothing could be less real than what we human beings call reality.  By clinging to the mind in the form of memory and thought, we are held captive by the movement of our conditioned thinking and imagination, all the while believing that we are rational and sane... Deep down we all suspect that something is very wrong with the way we perceive life but we try very, very hard not to notice it."        

Adyashanti says that we avoid noticing that there is something wrong with the way we perceive life  "through an obsessive and pathological denial of being-as if some dreadful fate would overcome us if we were to face the pure light of truth and lay bare our fearful clinging to illusion."  

As I continue on this spiritual journey I see more and more that I cannot rely on this so-called "reality" to define me nor my well-being.  What is happening in my life just is...but it is not who I am.  No matter how tempting it is to stay trapped in the illusion of what is happening, I choose to go to God for peace, for love, for guidance.  It is through being-present-in-the-moment, (not by doing or avoiding what is) that I will find God.  When something uncomfortable arises I allow myself to feel the feelings.  I remind myself to hold my thoughts lightly.  I remind myself that I do not know who I really am nor who others really are, and, that what I am experiencing is illusion no matter how real it seems.  I ask myself the question: "Who is it that is noticing this situation?" in order to move my awareness to the neutral observer.  By letting go in this way I am opening myself to God's guidance in the situation and to a deeper awareness of Self.

How lovely it would be to completely lay bare my fearful clinging to illusion and face the pure light of truth.  I know that facing this truth means letting go of the illusion of self, of this persona named Donna.  This requires courage.  But what I am letting go of is nothing more than an image that I have created to navigate through this life.  There is more to this self than that and I trust that God will show me the way back to my Self as I open to Truth.

"Within each of our forms lies the existential mystery of being" ~ Adyashanti