In Chapter 14, letting go of false solidity Michael talks about how we use the psyche to build a concept of ourselves, a self-concept which provides a sense of security. We cling to ideas and thoughts about ourselves in order to “build an inner structure for consciousness to focus on.” (T.U.S., p. 128) We feel safer that way. It is easier to navigate through life when we know what to expect from ourselves and others. Other people reward us for building a stable identity.
But this false identity that we have built ends up limiting us (remember the examples of the dog penned in by the electric fence, or, the person who builds the comfortable house in the middle of the beautiful field?)
We build and cling to our personal identity because it would be very scary if we did not.
“If you let go of your façade, and don’t try to trade it in for a new one, your thoughts and emotions will become unanchored and begin passing thorough you. ..You will feel panic deep inside, and you will be unable to get your bearings…However, you’ll find that if you’re willing to face that sense of panic, there is a way to go past it. You can go further back into the consciousness that is experiencing it, and the panic will stop. Then there will be a great peace, like nothing you’ve ever felt.” (T.U.S., p. 132)
“If you let go of your façade, and don’t try to trade it in for a new one, your thoughts and emotions will become unanchored and begin passing thorough you. ..You will feel panic deep inside, and you will be unable to get your bearings…However, you’ll find that if you’re willing to face that sense of panic, there is a way to go past it. You can go further back into the consciousness that is experiencing it, and the panic will stop. Then there will be a great peace, like nothing you’ve ever felt.” (T.U.S., p. 132)
I can fully relate to how scary it would be to let go of the facade. This week I experienced a taste of this discomfort when I posted something of facebook that was "out of character" for me...meaning that it was not in sync with the typical "Donna" façade that I like to put out there. I was concerned about how the person whose wall I posted on viewed me. I wondered how many other people read it. It felt very uncomfortable.
This experience made me realize how dependent I am upon keeping up this façade. I am totally and completely addicted to it. Honestly, it is hard to imagine that I could ever live without the comfort of my identity.
Yet, I yearn to have a closer, more intimate relationship with God; to embody my true Self; to experience my oneness with Spirit; to be an expression of pure Love. I know that I must transcend this personal identity in order to do so. I am willing to let go of whatever is not necessary in order to find the great peace within.
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