All week long I have watched my energies go up and down. Last weekend my daughter was placed on the waiting list for OC High School of the Arts. This has been a dream of hers for years...last year she was not accepted...acceptance into the school is extremely competitive...the program would be PERFECT for her...blah, blah, blah. From the human perspective there are lots of reasons to be excited and hopeful, and, a lot to be disappointed about should she not get in this year. As great as it would be, however, I know that my joy is not dependent upon my daughter getting in to OCHSA. I also see how easy it is to get lost in the energy of this situation.
This morning I was listening to one of Michael's CDs "The Clarity of Witness Consciousness" Part 2 - Beyond the Pull of Inner Energies, Tracks 8 and 9. (All of the quotes below are from this CD). He talks about "watching the dance between the energy that comes in through the senses and the urge to fix it." When the energy comes in (i.e., inner disturbance) we either try to fix it or push it away (e.g., me happily anticipating an acceptance letter coming in the mail, or, worrying that this might not happen).
Michael suggests that instead of getting drawn into the energies, we watch and relax. Do not touch the energies. Just "watch a human be human."
The challenge is to remain inside despite the strong pull of the energy. "There is no working with this humanness...work with the tendency to get sucked in...Leave the energy alone."
So I will notice when I have become drawn into the feelings (either positive or negative). I will not push them away, nor try to change them. I will take a deep breath and relax my muscles, especially the heart. I will work with the Self (i.e., noticing where I am putting my awareness), not the situation.
As we do this our energy changes. I will talk more about this in part 2 of 'transmutation of energy.'
I can relate. Sometimes when I want something for my child, it's even harder to be objective. After all, isn't it "my" responsibility to make sure my child's life turns out well?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I can imagine myself on a documentary similar to the ones on Animal Planet, where the narrator comments on the mother worrying about her progeny. The narrator, like the observer Singer describes, knows that so much is out of the mother's control.