leaving the comfort zone

Michael talks about how we feel we have to stay on top of everything in order to feel comfortable.  We impose limits on ourselves otherwise we feel afraid, anxious, hurt (e.g., ‘I need this person to like me so I can feel good about myself or so that I can stop feeling lonely.’  ‘I need more money so I can live more comfortably.’) Staying within our comfort zone means we are limiting ourselves.  I love the example of the brave dog who decides to withstand the discomfort of breaking through the force field of the electric fence in order to obtain freedom. 

"When you hit these edges you either pull back or try to force things to change so that you can remain comfortable." (T.U.S., p. 124)

Yes this is so true for me.  I either pull back (and sometimes I even convince myself that what ever I am pulling back from is not bothering me!) or I try to make the situation better. 

Michael suggests that we just walk on through without avoiding or fixing.  Just watch the pain, irritation, jealousy, insecurity etc. and let it go.  These feels are just like the zap of the electric fence in the brave dog example.  The feelings themselves will not harm you…they just hurt for the moment and then they pass. 

Imagine being caged in a yard and never knowing that there is a big, beautiful world out there for you to explore.  Be willing to pass through the force field and allow yourself to experience all of life.

beyond your model

Take a look at the first couple of pages of Chapter 13: far, far beyond.   Michael talks about how we break the world down into little thought patterns so that we can have some semblance of control….to make the unknown known.   We love it when people are predictable, when we are “right,”   when things go as expected…

We don’t even realize that we are doing it, yet, it is part of the job that we have given our minds – to make everything okay all of the time so we can feel good on the inside.  But then we have to make everything in this huge, complicated, unpredictable world fit into our little model of how we think things should be.  This just doesn’t work so we experience stress, depression, fatigue…

“If you want to go beyond your model you have to take the risk of not believing in it.”  (T.U.S.,  p.  120)

If I didn’t have a model through which I filter every experience, I would experience each moment as it is showing up, not as I would like it to be.  It would be much easier to be present in the now and my experience in the moment would be richer, more fulfilling.  There would be less judgment.  

Why trust my model when I know that it is just built on past experiences…there is no inherent wisdom in it.  What if I trusted God, the Universe, Love, Nature (whatever you want to call your Higher Power) more than I trusted my model?  Hummmmm... that sure would make sense since I am not Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent, yet God is.    

Today I will practice recognizing when I am using my model to see the world and letting that go so that I can begin to see through the eyes of Spirit.

An ever expanding awareness

Michael suggests that instead of focusing on enlightenment, focus on taking down the walls which are blocking the light. 

I have had a trying situation come up the last few days... a situation that requires my presence, my attention in a worldly sense.  I need to deal with this situation as best as I can, and then let it go.  No holding on to worry, resentment, regret...  I know that right in the midst of this challenge is an opportunity for spiritual growth...an opportunity to take down some of my walls.

Leaving the comfortable house built in the middle of the sunlit field requires facing my fears and letting them go.  Life will show us our fears that are blocking the light.  How beautiful this is, really.  I don't have spend time and energy figuring out what is keeping me from embodying my Truest and Highest Self.  Life gives me the answers to that puzzle each time I experience fear.  All I have to do is watch and release.

"Your awareness can expand to encompass vast space instead of the limited space in which you dwell.  Then when you look back at that little house you built, you will wonder why you were ever in there...True freedom is very close; it's just on the other side of your walls." (T.U.S., p. 117-118).

 

Defending

I have noticed how often I defend myself.  Here are a couple of examples that might not seem like defensiveness at first glance.  I went skiing yesterday and  my negative attitude about certain snow boarders (who my limited self viewed as careless, inconsiderate, dangerous to ski with...) was a defensive reaction.  The same was true of my reaction the the guy tail-gating me as I drove down the mountain.  In both cases I was defending my image as the careful skiier/driver and was critical of them.  My defensiveness was not apparent to the outside world but it was still present.

Michael points out that our self-image is created by thoughts...a set of beliefs that we hold about ourselves, and when the walls of our self-image are threatened, we patch them up with more thoughts (e.g., "I am a more careful driver than him," "skiiers are more considerate than snow boarders"...)

But all of this defending is blocking the light...just like the example of the person who built the comfortable home in the middle of a beautiful, sunlit field and then created artificial light inside the house.

"...we build a world within the confines of our inner walls that is better than the inner darkness.  We decorate our walls with the memories of our past experiences and with our dreams of the future...But just as the people in the house had the potential to step out of their own self-made, artificial world into the beauty of the natural light, you can step outside your house of thoughts into the unlimited." (T.U.S., p117).

We do this one thought, one feeling at a time.  Watch and release.

Patching up those walls

Although I have been working with the idea of witnessing and letting go for a couple of years, the following quote from T.U.S. shakes me up:

"You must realize that when you defend yourself you are really defending your walls.  There is nothing else to defend in there.  There is just the awareness of being and the limited house you built to live in."  (T.U.S., p. 116)

I find this quote to be very powerful and somewhat unnerving.  When I defend myself I am defending my walls.  Michael used the example of someone being told that they were adopted and how the mind would jump to rationalizations to patch up the walls of one's broken identity (T.U.S., p. 117).

This quote highlights the fact that I need to let go of all rationalizations...of explaining away situations so I can feel better...of defending myself both in my head and out loud.  

The second part of this quote, the fact that my real Self is nothing but 'the awareness of being' is equally as uncomfortable.  This is really letting go of the personal self.  It is one thing to let go of a little pain, fear, or resentment but to realize that it all has to go (the good, the bad, and the ugly) is downright scary.  No identity (the house) to navigate through and feel comfortable in the world.  And although this identity is far from perfect it does provide some direction and a sense of stability.  What will there be without this?  Who would I be?   

Despite my fears I am determined to carry on.  I know that there is freedom on the other side. I believe there is more to this experience in life than living in a safe yet limited house, cut off from the light.

As hard as this is, I will witness and release the fear, the rationalizations and the identity.  And when I become aware that I have gotten trapped in the ego (as I so often do), I will choose again to take a breath and remember that I am the awareness of being.  

May the walls come tumbling down

I will be writing about 'going beyond the pain,' starting with chapter 12 of The Untethered Soul “taking down the walls.”  I like the analogy of the beautiful house (i.e., the personal identity) built in the middle of a beautiful field (i.e., life), which feels safe and comfortable yet limits and blocks us from the light (i.e., unlimited potential).  This house is made up of aspects of the personal self including one’s thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, hopes, and past experiences.  As comfortable as the house is, there is a beautiful world (i.e., freedom) on the other side of it’s walls.

Michael says “If you want to see how restrictive your walls are start walking toward them.” (T.U.S.,  p. 116)  Notice how you react to an uncomfortable thought, feeling, or situation.  We often refer to this kind of inner disturbance as being in the darkness.

“Eventually you will realize that darkness is not what’s really there.  What is really there are the walls that are blocking the infinite light.” (T.U.S., p. 116)

Notice the inner disturbances throughout the day and the tendency to want to pull away from them (e.g., fix the situation, numb the feeling with food, alcohol, shopping, work, busy-ness…).  Instead of avoiding the inner discomfort, notice it, relax and choose to let it go.

I had a challenging work situation come up the other day.  When I recognized the discomfort I shifted my thoughts from 'This is a problem and I had better do something...'  (i.e., fix the situation so that I could stay safe within my walls) to 'This is not a problem, it is an opportunity to let go of some blocked energy and that is good!' I let go.  I then went on to think about how to proceed with the situation but I was more detached and able to think more clearly. 

Remember the mind will constantly being stirring up drama.  Do not get involved.  Relax and let it be.  You are safe to go beyond the walls of your ego.  It is only a feeling and it will pass.  Join me today in choosing freedom.

    

taking inventory

When I am having difficulty letting go of something I find it helpful to 'take inventory'...that is, check in with my head, heart, and body to see where I am stuck. 

I observe my thoughts and decide to let them go.  Although our energy gets stuck in the heart, holding on to negative thoughts can keep the heart closed.  I may say to myself 'I let this thought go,' "It is what it is,' 'I choose to be happy no matter what,' or some other positive affirmation.

Then I check my heart to see what I am feeling.  I let the feelings be.  With a relaxing breath I let them go... reminding myself that I am not the feelings...I am the experiencer of the feelings.  I let my heart soften.

Finally, I check my body for any tension.  With a deep breath I relax the tense areas of my body.

I find it easier to let go when I have broken down the process into each of these 3 steps.