I have noticed how often I defend myself. Here are a couple of examples that might not seem like defensiveness at first glance. I went skiing yesterday and my negative attitude about certain snow boarders (who my limited self viewed as careless, inconsiderate, dangerous to ski with...) was a defensive reaction. The same was true of my reaction the the guy tail-gating me as I drove down the mountain. In both cases I was defending my image as the careful skiier/driver and was critical of them. My defensiveness was not apparent to the outside world but it was still present.
Michael points out that our self-image is created by thoughts...a set of beliefs that we hold about ourselves, and when the walls of our self-image are threatened, we patch them up with more thoughts (e.g., "I am a more careful driver than him," "skiiers are more considerate than snow boarders"...)
But all of this defending is blocking the light...just like the example of the person who built the comfortable home in the middle of a beautiful, sunlit field and then created artificial light inside the house.
"...we build a world within the confines of our inner walls that is better than the inner darkness. We decorate our walls with the memories of our past experiences and with our dreams of the future...But just as the people in the house had the potential to step out of their own self-made, artificial world into the beauty of the natural light, you can step outside your house of thoughts into the unlimited." (T.U.S., p117).
We do this one thought, one feeling at a time. Watch and release.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Patching up those walls
Although I have been working with the idea of witnessing and letting go for a couple of years, the following quote from T.U.S. shakes me up:
"You must realize that when you defend yourself you are really defending your walls. There is nothing else to defend in there. There is just the awareness of being and the limited house you built to live in." (T.U.S., p. 116)
I find this quote to be very powerful and somewhat unnerving. When I defend myself I am defending my walls. Michael used the example of someone being told that they were adopted and how the mind would jump to rationalizations to patch up the walls of one's broken identity (T.U.S., p. 117).
This quote highlights the fact that I need to let go of all rationalizations...of explaining away situations so I can feel better...of defending myself both in my head and out loud.
The second part of this quote, the fact that my real Self is nothing but 'the awareness of being' is equally as uncomfortable. This is really letting go of the personal self. It is one thing to let go of a little pain, fear, or resentment but to realize that it all has to go (the good, the bad, and the ugly) is downright scary. No identity (the house) to navigate through and feel comfortable in the world. And although this identity is far from perfect it does provide some direction and a sense of stability. What will there be without this? Who would I be?
Despite my fears I am determined to carry on. I know that there is freedom on the other side. I believe there is more to this experience in life than living in a safe yet limited house, cut off from the light.
As hard as this is, I will witness and release the fear, the rationalizations and the identity. And when I become aware that I have gotten trapped in the ego (as I so often do), I will choose again to take a breath and remember that I am the awareness of being.
"You must realize that when you defend yourself you are really defending your walls. There is nothing else to defend in there. There is just the awareness of being and the limited house you built to live in." (T.U.S., p. 116)
I find this quote to be very powerful and somewhat unnerving. When I defend myself I am defending my walls. Michael used the example of someone being told that they were adopted and how the mind would jump to rationalizations to patch up the walls of one's broken identity (T.U.S., p. 117).
This quote highlights the fact that I need to let go of all rationalizations...of explaining away situations so I can feel better...of defending myself both in my head and out loud.
The second part of this quote, the fact that my real Self is nothing but 'the awareness of being' is equally as uncomfortable. This is really letting go of the personal self. It is one thing to let go of a little pain, fear, or resentment but to realize that it all has to go (the good, the bad, and the ugly) is downright scary. No identity (the house) to navigate through and feel comfortable in the world. And although this identity is far from perfect it does provide some direction and a sense of stability. What will there be without this? Who would I be?
Despite my fears I am determined to carry on. I know that there is freedom on the other side. I believe there is more to this experience in life than living in a safe yet limited house, cut off from the light.
As hard as this is, I will witness and release the fear, the rationalizations and the identity. And when I become aware that I have gotten trapped in the ego (as I so often do), I will choose again to take a breath and remember that I am the awareness of being.
Friday, March 25, 2011
May the walls come tumbling down
I will be writing about 'going beyond the pain,' starting with chapter 12 of The Untethered Soul “taking down the walls.” I like the analogy of the beautiful house (i.e., the personal identity) built in the middle of a beautiful field (i.e., life), which feels safe and comfortable yet limits and blocks us from the light (i.e., unlimited potential). This house is made up of aspects of the personal self including one’s thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, hopes, and past experiences. As comfortable as the house is, there is a beautiful world (i.e., freedom) on the other side of it’s walls.
Michael says “If you want to see how restrictive your walls are start walking toward them.” (T.U.S., p. 116) Notice how you react to an uncomfortable thought, feeling, or situation. We often refer to this kind of inner disturbance as being in the darkness.
“Eventually you will realize that darkness is not what’s really there. What is really there are the walls that are blocking the infinite light.” (T.U.S., p. 116)
Notice the inner disturbances throughout the day and the tendency to want to pull away from them (e.g., fix the situation, numb the feeling with food, alcohol, shopping, work, busy-ness…). Instead of avoiding the inner discomfort, notice it, relax and choose to let it go.
I had a challenging work situation come up the other day. When I recognized the discomfort I shifted my thoughts from 'This is a problem and I had better do something...' (i.e., fix the situation so that I could stay safe within my walls) to 'This is not a problem, it is an opportunity to let go of some blocked energy and that is good!' I let go. I then went on to think about how to proceed with the situation but I was more detached and able to think more clearly.
Remember the mind will constantly being stirring up drama. Do not get involved. Relax and let it be. You are safe to go beyond the walls of your ego. It is only a feeling and it will pass. Join me today in choosing freedom.
Monday, March 21, 2011
taking inventory
When I am having difficulty letting go of something I find it helpful to 'take inventory'...that is, check in with my head, heart, and body to see where I am stuck.
I observe my thoughts and decide to let them go. Although our energy gets stuck in the heart, holding on to negative thoughts can keep the heart closed. I may say to myself 'I let this thought go,' "It is what it is,' 'I choose to be happy no matter what,' or some other positive affirmation.
Then I check my heart to see what I am feeling. I let the feelings be. With a relaxing breath I let them go... reminding myself that I am not the feelings...I am the experiencer of the feelings. I let my heart soften.
Finally, I check my body for any tension. With a deep breath I relax the tense areas of my body.
I find it easier to let go when I have broken down the process into each of these 3 steps.
I observe my thoughts and decide to let them go. Although our energy gets stuck in the heart, holding on to negative thoughts can keep the heart closed. I may say to myself 'I let this thought go,' "It is what it is,' 'I choose to be happy no matter what,' or some other positive affirmation.
Then I check my heart to see what I am feeling. I let the feelings be. With a relaxing breath I let them go... reminding myself that I am not the feelings...I am the experiencer of the feelings. I let my heart soften.
Finally, I check my body for any tension. With a deep breath I relax the tense areas of my body.
I find it easier to let go when I have broken down the process into each of these 3 steps.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
letting go of the personal self
To paraphrase something that Michael said on one of his CDs: "You need to learn to be able to handle your emotions." What he is talking about here is that we need to learn to stay centered regardless of what emotion we are feeling or what circumstance we are dealing with. You cannot let the experience that you are having determine what kind of day you are going to have. Remember you are the experiencer not the experience. This requires letting go when a feeling or circumstance has captured your awareness (e.g., when you feel disappointed because such and such has happened).
Michael points out that we need to go through this process of letting the pain pass because it is blocking our hearts and minds. When we do this we are letting go of the personal self, and, the heart will open. "You will then be able to walk through this world more vibrant and alive than ever before...You will begin to have truly beautiful experiences rise up within you. Eventually you will understand that there is an ocean of love behind all of this fear and pain...Peace and love will run your life." (T.U.S., p. 106-107)
It is possible to reach this goal. Just "Let go and Let God."
Michael points out that we need to go through this process of letting the pain pass because it is blocking our hearts and minds. When we do this we are letting go of the personal self, and, the heart will open. "You will then be able to walk through this world more vibrant and alive than ever before...You will begin to have truly beautiful experiences rise up within you. Eventually you will understand that there is an ocean of love behind all of this fear and pain...Peace and love will run your life." (T.U.S., p. 106-107)
It is possible to reach this goal. Just "Let go and Let God."
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The path to freedom
I am realizing that so much (if not all) of what we are concerned about ends up being an attempt to avoid pain. This desire to avoid pain really runs our lives. Anxiety, anger, insecurity, all stem from pain. Something as simple and as common as not liking something about one's body can be traced to an inner pain that we are not enough. We resist these feelings because we do not want to feel the pain. We resist our emotional pain the way that your hand would pull back if you touched a hot stove. But in this case avoiding the pain does not cut us off from the source of pain as removing one's hand from a hot stove would.
In order to get rid of the pain we must "learn to transcend the tendency to avoid the pain." (T.U.S., p. 104). Take a look at the bottom paragraph on page 104. Our hearts are constantly trying to push feelings away. "If life does something that causes a disturbance within you, let it pass through you like the wind." (T.U.S., p. 104). What I have found to be most helpful in this process of letting pain pass through me is to relax...relax the heart...relax all of the areas of my body where I tighten up because that is where I hold the pain. Although we think we are getting rid of the pain when we push it down or distract ourselves from it, we really are doing the opposite. We are locking it inside and I notice this happens a lot. Often the little irritations, worries, insecurities, jealousies hit the bigger pockets of blocked pain from the past (samskaras) and so we resist feeling them.
This may paint a gloomy picture, but in reality I don't feel that that is the case. If the pain is there (and, based on my personal and professional experience, for most of us it is) then this is an opportunity for freedom and growth. Jesus said that "unless you become like little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." One way to live in freedom as children do is to allow the feelings to pass through. It only hurts for a moment and there is freedom on the other side.
In order to get rid of the pain we must "learn to transcend the tendency to avoid the pain." (T.U.S., p. 104). Take a look at the bottom paragraph on page 104. Our hearts are constantly trying to push feelings away. "If life does something that causes a disturbance within you, let it pass through you like the wind." (T.U.S., p. 104). What I have found to be most helpful in this process of letting pain pass through me is to relax...relax the heart...relax all of the areas of my body where I tighten up because that is where I hold the pain. Although we think we are getting rid of the pain when we push it down or distract ourselves from it, we really are doing the opposite. We are locking it inside and I notice this happens a lot. Often the little irritations, worries, insecurities, jealousies hit the bigger pockets of blocked pain from the past (samskaras) and so we resist feeling them.
This may paint a gloomy picture, but in reality I don't feel that that is the case. If the pain is there (and, based on my personal and professional experience, for most of us it is) then this is an opportunity for freedom and growth. Jesus said that "unless you become like little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." One way to live in freedom as children do is to allow the feelings to pass through. It only hurts for a moment and there is freedom on the other side.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
simple awareness practices
It can be so easy to get off track despite our best intentions. Since my last post I had a lot of pain come up initially - I found myself feeling other people's pain as well as my own. I practiced moving my awareness to the observer and then letting it go. However, I then became distracted by daily life (parenting duties, house chores and responsibilities...) and I forgot all about witnessing and releasing. I got lost in the psyche.
To prevent this Michael suggests setting up "simple awareness practices" (T.U.S., p. 97).
Before you start your car "remember that you are spinning on a planet in the middle of no where...and you are not going to get involved in your own melodrama... You don't have to change anything just be there noticing that you notice...It's like taking inventory. Just check out what's going on - heart, mind, shoulders etc. (T.U.S., p. 97).
He suggests choosing situations to serve as reminders to 'take inventory' such as getting in the car, opening a door, picking up the phone, checking your watch, turning on your computer, taking a drink of water, opening the refrigerator etc.
Try setting up some triggers to remind you to check in with your psyche/body and then practice letting go.
To prevent this Michael suggests setting up "simple awareness practices" (T.U.S., p. 97).
Before you start your car "remember that you are spinning on a planet in the middle of no where...and you are not going to get involved in your own melodrama... You don't have to change anything just be there noticing that you notice...It's like taking inventory. Just check out what's going on - heart, mind, shoulders etc. (T.U.S., p. 97).
He suggests choosing situations to serve as reminders to 'take inventory' such as getting in the car, opening a door, picking up the phone, checking your watch, turning on your computer, taking a drink of water, opening the refrigerator etc.
Try setting up some triggers to remind you to check in with your psyche/body and then practice letting go.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Are you willing to pay the price for freedom?
I am going to be talking about Chapter 11, pain the price of freedom. This is where the rubber meets the road. Freedom lies on the other side of the pain. Every awakened being that I know of has gone through some kind of pain or struggle before waking up...including Adyashanti, Eckart Tolle, and Buddha. I don't think there is any way around the pain.
In this chapter Michael talks about learning to tolerate pain...it's just a feeling...watch it and let it pass.
What has become so clear to me is that all of the 'little' daily inner disturbances (i.e., pain) that I experience are a result of my samskaras being hit. The real problem is not the current situation (whether it be a feeling of hurt from a friend, a feeling of rejection, loneliness...), the real problem is that I do not feel whole, or good enough on the inside and so I become hypersensitive to how the world interacts with me.
How often do you feel bothered by a situation such as: you find out that some co-workers went out to lunch without inviting you, a friend neglects to call you back, people stop talking when you enter a room, someone that you are interested in prefers the company of someone else, so and so didn't come to your party...
Most of us take these kinds of situations personally and we allow them to cause inner disturbance. That is because we already do not feel good about ourselves (the root, inner pain) and these current situations trigger this inner pain. We do all sorts of things to avoid this pain such as trying to look a certain way, act a certain way, surround ourselves with people or activities, make a certain amount of money...
To get to freedom, we need to allow this inner pain to rise up and then we need to let it go. We've talked about this process before. Most of us know how to do this. I do and yet I still find myself avoiding the pain by eating a little something, keeping busy, and otherwise distracting myself from the feelings.
However since I really want to get to the other side I am determined to let the pain come up and to let it go. I am reminding myself that it is only a feeling and that it will pass. Every time some pain comes up I will rejoice because every little bit of pain that I let go of means that there is less inside for me to hold onto.
The pain is there. There is no going around it. I will have to go through it and let it go. Instead of trying to fix me and fix the world so that I do not feel any more pain I will face this demon and watch it dissolve (transcend it that is).
Join me today in allowing the root pain to come up. When the feeling of anxiety, annoyance, hurt, insecurity arises take a breath and allow the deeper feelings to arise (i.e., the pain at the core of your being). Then take another deep breath and let that go. Use today's events to take a step closer to awakening to your true Self...by taking a breath and letting go each time you feel some inner discomfort.
In this chapter Michael talks about learning to tolerate pain...it's just a feeling...watch it and let it pass.
What has become so clear to me is that all of the 'little' daily inner disturbances (i.e., pain) that I experience are a result of my samskaras being hit. The real problem is not the current situation (whether it be a feeling of hurt from a friend, a feeling of rejection, loneliness...), the real problem is that I do not feel whole, or good enough on the inside and so I become hypersensitive to how the world interacts with me.
How often do you feel bothered by a situation such as: you find out that some co-workers went out to lunch without inviting you, a friend neglects to call you back, people stop talking when you enter a room, someone that you are interested in prefers the company of someone else, so and so didn't come to your party...
Most of us take these kinds of situations personally and we allow them to cause inner disturbance. That is because we already do not feel good about ourselves (the root, inner pain) and these current situations trigger this inner pain. We do all sorts of things to avoid this pain such as trying to look a certain way, act a certain way, surround ourselves with people or activities, make a certain amount of money...
To get to freedom, we need to allow this inner pain to rise up and then we need to let it go. We've talked about this process before. Most of us know how to do this. I do and yet I still find myself avoiding the pain by eating a little something, keeping busy, and otherwise distracting myself from the feelings.
However since I really want to get to the other side I am determined to let the pain come up and to let it go. I am reminding myself that it is only a feeling and that it will pass. Every time some pain comes up I will rejoice because every little bit of pain that I let go of means that there is less inside for me to hold onto.
The pain is there. There is no going around it. I will have to go through it and let it go. Instead of trying to fix me and fix the world so that I do not feel any more pain I will face this demon and watch it dissolve (transcend it that is).
Join me today in allowing the root pain to come up. When the feeling of anxiety, annoyance, hurt, insecurity arises take a breath and allow the deeper feelings to arise (i.e., the pain at the core of your being). Then take another deep breath and let that go. Use today's events to take a step closer to awakening to your true Self...by taking a breath and letting go each time you feel some inner discomfort.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The honor of experiencing life
Michael has said something like this:
The world is going to show up and I have the honor of experiencing it.
Notice he isn't saying that we have to make it all happen...we are just here to experience it. Of course we need to take action, make decisions...but that is when we are dealing with what is happening in the moment. But how much time do we actually spend living in the moment...dealing with what is right in front of us? Or do we spend an inordinate amount of time fretting about the past or worrying about (i.e., planning for) the future? Do we waste precious time listening to our mind tell us what is wrong with our lives or what we need to do to make them better instead of just enjoying the moment?
"The key is to be quiet. It's not that your mind has to be quiet...You, the one inside watching the neurotic mind, just relax. You will then naturally fall behind the mind because you have always been there." (T.U.S., p. 95).
Watch the mind go through all of its drama and relax behind it.
How easy it is to forget to disengage from the psyche/mind. I find that it requires a great deal of presence to avoid this trap. I need to constantly be alert to where my awareness is focused. Am I focused on all of the external distractions that life presents...the to-do list, relationships, finances, job, parenting... or am I aware that I am the awareness? I find it helpful to wear a piece of jewelry or put up little notes to remind me to notice that I am the noticer. I also find it helpful to make witnessing a part of my daily routine such as each time I get in the car, before I check my cell phone or look at a clock...
I use to have a picture hanging in my bedroom that said the following:
"Good morning this is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. Just relax and have a good day!"
Today allow yourself the gift of experiencing your life....relax and have a good day.
The world is going to show up and I have the honor of experiencing it.
Notice he isn't saying that we have to make it all happen...we are just here to experience it. Of course we need to take action, make decisions...but that is when we are dealing with what is happening in the moment. But how much time do we actually spend living in the moment...dealing with what is right in front of us? Or do we spend an inordinate amount of time fretting about the past or worrying about (i.e., planning for) the future? Do we waste precious time listening to our mind tell us what is wrong with our lives or what we need to do to make them better instead of just enjoying the moment?
"The key is to be quiet. It's not that your mind has to be quiet...You, the one inside watching the neurotic mind, just relax. You will then naturally fall behind the mind because you have always been there." (T.U.S., p. 95).
Watch the mind go through all of its drama and relax behind it.
How easy it is to forget to disengage from the psyche/mind. I find that it requires a great deal of presence to avoid this trap. I need to constantly be alert to where my awareness is focused. Am I focused on all of the external distractions that life presents...the to-do list, relationships, finances, job, parenting... or am I aware that I am the awareness? I find it helpful to wear a piece of jewelry or put up little notes to remind me to notice that I am the noticer. I also find it helpful to make witnessing a part of my daily routine such as each time I get in the car, before I check my cell phone or look at a clock...
I use to have a picture hanging in my bedroom that said the following:
"Good morning this is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. Just relax and have a good day!"
Today allow yourself the gift of experiencing your life....relax and have a good day.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Gently disengage from the chatter
Michael talks about not listening when the mind tells you what you have to do to make everything okay so you can feel okay.
"The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that's the only time everything will be okay." (T.U.S., p. 95)
He says that the root of it is that we expect the mind to fix our inner disturbance. "Consciously remember that this is not what you want to do and then gently disengage." (T.U.S., p. 95)
The mind is helpful for so many things in this world, such as solving scientific problems and serving our planet, but it's job is not to fix our inner disturbance. It seems to me that if we did not have our minds spend so much time and energy trying to fix our inner disturbances that we could use our minds in so many more productive ways.
Michael says that we put so much energy into having our minds fix all of our problems as if the mind were our "saviour and protector." It isn't. It is a tool to be used to function in life but its job is not to make everything okay.
When your mind starts telling you what to do, just watch it. Do not get involved. Relax and gently disengage. Be the observer and let the rest go.
I find that when I do this, I often experience more clarity and my life tends to flow more effortlessly. I am opening myself to a deeper wisdom and guidance instead of relying of the mind with all of its fears and insecurities to tell me what to do.
I also find that when I stop listening to the chatter of the mind telling me what to do to fix my life, and I instead choose to be okay with everything that I have more energy...I feel lighter. I actually enjoy my life.
Practice today falling behind the mind and being okay with whatever is showing up in front of you.
"The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that's the only time everything will be okay." (T.U.S., p. 95)
He says that the root of it is that we expect the mind to fix our inner disturbance. "Consciously remember that this is not what you want to do and then gently disengage." (T.U.S., p. 95)
The mind is helpful for so many things in this world, such as solving scientific problems and serving our planet, but it's job is not to fix our inner disturbance. It seems to me that if we did not have our minds spend so much time and energy trying to fix our inner disturbances that we could use our minds in so many more productive ways.
Michael says that we put so much energy into having our minds fix all of our problems as if the mind were our "saviour and protector." It isn't. It is a tool to be used to function in life but its job is not to make everything okay.
When your mind starts telling you what to do, just watch it. Do not get involved. Relax and gently disengage. Be the observer and let the rest go.
I find that when I do this, I often experience more clarity and my life tends to flow more effortlessly. I am opening myself to a deeper wisdom and guidance instead of relying of the mind with all of its fears and insecurities to tell me what to do.
I also find that when I stop listening to the chatter of the mind telling me what to do to fix my life, and I instead choose to be okay with everything that I have more energy...I feel lighter. I actually enjoy my life.
Practice today falling behind the mind and being okay with whatever is showing up in front of you.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Enjoy life
Check out the paragraph on the top of page 93. "You are capable of ceasing the absurdity of listening to the perpetual problems of the psyche... You can wake up in the morning, look forward to the day...not worry...just have fun doing your best...at night when you go to sleep, you let it all go." (T.U.S., p. 94).
That is the best description of how to do life that I have ever heard.
Remember that your mind/psyche will fight you on this... it will not be happy no matter what. I find it helpful to not expect the mind to be happy. Instead I am prepared for the insane chatter to start at some point letting me know what I should worry about or fix. But I am stronger than this voice. I am wiser than this voice. I am one with the Omniscient, Omnipotent Source of Joy!
My psyche is screwed up. I do not need to listen.
I see how much the psyche wants to hold onto situations, analyzing them, fine-tuning my response to things, helping me to navigate in this world. But I know that this doesn't work. My sense of guidance about how to get through life doesn't come from the egoic mind. It comes from the wisdom that resides deep within my Soul. It comes from my connection with God. So I choose to no longer expect my mind to fix all of my problems.
Please join me in transcending the voice of the roommate by observing and releasing and moving into a higher realization of your true Self.
Choose to be happy and let the rest go.
That is the best description of how to do life that I have ever heard.
Remember that your mind/psyche will fight you on this... it will not be happy no matter what. I find it helpful to not expect the mind to be happy. Instead I am prepared for the insane chatter to start at some point letting me know what I should worry about or fix. But I am stronger than this voice. I am wiser than this voice. I am one with the Omniscient, Omnipotent Source of Joy!
My psyche is screwed up. I do not need to listen.
I see how much the psyche wants to hold onto situations, analyzing them, fine-tuning my response to things, helping me to navigate in this world. But I know that this doesn't work. My sense of guidance about how to get through life doesn't come from the egoic mind. It comes from the wisdom that resides deep within my Soul. It comes from my connection with God. So I choose to no longer expect my mind to fix all of my problems.
Please join me in transcending the voice of the roommate by observing and releasing and moving into a higher realization of your true Self.
Choose to be happy and let the rest go.
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